I want my name to be a brand in comedy. I hope my name stands for comedic excellence.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

Find a good teacher that will keep the game fun. Work hard and don't be afraid to have success or disappointment. That is what golf is all about.

I've had journalists beg me to please say something negative about my estate.

There are two types of producing deals, and I've had both. I've produced over 20 movies now. You are either watching in horror, as the cars take the curve in the grand prix, or you're enjoying it.

When the interval between the intellectual classes and the practical classes is too great, the former will possess no influence, the latter will reap no benefit.

I've put down my scrivener's pen. These days i prefer not to.

Failure is not always a bad thing. You just have to be smart while you're in the middle of it. You're in the eye of the tornado of like disappointment to know that it's just a storm and it'll pass.

After spending so much money Liverpool were a lot further behind the leaders when Houllier left than before he arrived

Send light to the dark hearts of men, that is the duty the artist.

The religions of mankind must be classed among the mass-delusions of this kind. No one, needless to say, who shares a delusion ever recognizes it as such.

A heavenly awe overshadowed and encompassed, as it still ought, and must, all earthly business whatsoever.