I want people to say, "Oh my God, I'm laughing out loud at television."

If you look at any successful skit comedy show, ever, there is that format of introducing you to the player in the beginning, and then going on to see those sketches.

You hold precious what you create for yourself in your life that makes you comfortable.

There's a sketch where we're playing two terrorists in a cave, and my terrorist is very frustrated as to why we haven't flown a plane into a building in 13 years.

I'm racist against non-black people.

I have always, or for the most part, identified myself as a biracial person.

Being a melting pot is what I think is great about being American, and also that we get to do something that other people don't get to do, we get to be a hyphenate. That's a good thing.

You can not have comedy unless people are behaving badly. You can't have it.

The audience loves to figure things out. They love it when a performer leaves a trail of bread crumbs for them, and they get to participate in the comedy.

If I could just get over my issues of wanting people to like me.

I have this little thing that people call Keegan-ese, where I don't speak English words at all. I just say stuff like, "You gotta toish the doish and you gotta maloish the hoish."

Babies are living dolls with dancing smiles that come from the stars to still our hearts.

We spend our lives in the attempt to capture memory forever

I think "HALLELUJAH" translates into "HALLELUJAH" in every language out there.

Japan!everything in details perfection.

When it comes to food, there are two large categories of eaters, those who do not worry about what they eat but should, and those who do worry about what they eat but should not.

I guess you could say, I'm just a typical Methodist kid at heart.

They don't produce anything. All they do is guide you through the labyrinth of the legal system that they created - and they keep changing it just in case you start to catch on.

Opportunity today, prosperity tomorrow.

Women are a lot like ducks-they don’t like mud on their butts.

It's not enough to do your best; you must know what to do & then do your best.