I want to be governor [of Texas] because I need the closet space.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

My ignorance is essential. I do not write what I know but what I need to know.

Boredom is fear's patience. Fear doesn't want to exaggerate. Only on occasion--and fear considers this very important--does it want to know how things stand with me.

The effective use of time is the best-kept secret of those who have created a successful life and continue to experience it every day

An observer can’t tell if a person is silent and still because inner life has stalled or because inner life is transfixingly busy.

Water is the key to life, but in frozen form, it is a latent force. And when it vanishes, Earth becomes Mars.

Quart of whiskey a day for months working hard on a long poem. Wife hiding bottles, myself hiding bottles. Murderous and suicidal. Many hospitalizations, many alibis.

I was able to bring my process of doing improv with actors into the animation world, which was fun.

White girls tell me Hey Nicki your camp rules! Is that why you get more head than shampoos?

My grandmother worked on a fruit and vegetable market stall.

What would our lives be like if our days and nights were as immersed in nature as they are in technology?