I want to caucus in Iowa. I'll caucus all over the state. I don't caucus in California. You don't caucus where you live. It doesn't look good.

All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian.

Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.

No Taxes. Let's just tip the government 15% if they do a good job.

I must choose my words carefully in order to avoid any negative interpretation. Among politicians, this is a tactic known as lying.

Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.

I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.

I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.

Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'

We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman.

Deep down, I happen to be very shallow.

Do not expect peace with the enemy whose worth you do not recognize.

It is the doom of the Christian church to be always distracted with controversy. John Quincy Adams

I'm the guy who happened to be home the night Kat came to steal a Monet."- Hale

I feel like, as an adult, a lot of how you feel about yourself and what your inner workings are can be revealed in a sexual situation.

The self-edited author is as foolish as the self-medicated patient.

I've I call [Cardinal John O'Connor] from time to time and he calls me. And when I think there's something he ought to think about doing, I call him and he usually does it.

The ear in man and beast is an evidence of blood and high breeding.

Gary Hart is going to be all over the political spectrum fuzzing it up just like Jack Kennedy.

A print book is really a kind of tree zombie.

Only science and the spirit of seeking truth from facts can save China. I firmly believe in this.