I want to get a gold star. And I know that there are places that I need to go in order to get the story right. I'd rather do it right than have to do it twice.

Last year people won more than one billion dollars playing poker. And casinos made twenty-seven billion just by being around those people.

Don't judge me. I made a lot of money.

Kids do have to learn that life is a humiliating charade of endless disappointment and tragedy ultimately culminating in pain, decay, and death. My parents used to sing me to sleep with that one.

I'm capable of living in the moment. And I'm especially capable of living in the moment of sitting on my sofa and watching other people's moments.

I dislike Ted Cruz as much as the next everyone. But that's no reason to be rude to Ted's loving wife and possible hostage.

There's a danger zone if you take yourself too seriously. It's a terrible trap to fall into. I think it's the death of comedy.

It's like you can't even go on the radio anymore and condemn a whole subset of people to hell without getting some blowback.

I continue to be very shy. I think a lot of actors and performers are really weird, shy people working it out onstage. I don't know why that is.

You don't want to be glib; you want to treat every story respectfully.

I grew up an only child, so I was so much more adult. My eldest daughter is 10, and I was so much more of an adult than she is. She just doesn't care for the real world. She's not interested.

To be or not to be, that is the choice

I like down-to-Earth characters, but I also like being able to get outside my box of knowledge.

There could be few men whose love for a woman had been written on his face with a knife.

I'm a big believer that you can try to change the world based on philosophy, doctrine, and belief. But I think the thing that really drives the world is hedonism, the pleasure factor.

I went to great schools. Wharton School, a lot of great places.

They [sic] ain't gonna stop me from coming here, baby.

Books for general reading always smell bad; the odor of common people hangs around them.

Thank God, under our Constitution there was no connection between church and state.

Death is the starlit strip between the companionship of yesterday and the reunion of tomorrow.

Like everyone on the set has to take [herpes medication] Valtrex. We hand it out like M&Ms. Hey kids, it's time for Valtrex!' It's like a herpes nest. They're all in there mixing it up.