I want to have my face look like Brad Pitt. Then I'll be with Jennifer Aniston and then Angelina Jolie. Then the real Brad Pitt will come in, and we'll have a Brad Pitt face-off.

I was one of the first veejays to take the camera out on location, and that's what was unique about MTV at that time.

I kind of was raised at The Comedy Store by comedians. When you see my dad on stage before me and then you see me, you'll see where I got a lot of my stuff.

Serious and intense people, they drain you. But someone who's an idiot, like myself, they're fun. You either hate me or you love me.

Whenever someone dies everyone says, I love that guy, except for Jeffrey Dahmer.

I want to do an 'Extreme Makeover' show. You know that MTV show 'I Want To Have A Famous Face'? Well, I want to do a new show. I want to have a different famous face.

My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one, and then she's this lady most comedians know as being a legendary owner of a nightclub that's responsible for starting a lot of heavy careers.

I liked Evel Knievel, and that game Mouse Trap. That was pretty cool.

I giggle when I put myself down. It's just funny to me.

Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose me.

I'm not used to getting good reviews.

The only important thing in a book is the meaning that it has for you.

Everything of value doesn't come with a price tag.

There are two ways of meeting difficulties: you alter the difficulties or you alter yourself to meet them.

I only want to do what I really want to do; otherwise, I'm content to sit here and play my guitar all day.

Being [in] a show that you get to say good-bye instead of being asked to leave is a real honor.

Draw Dyrnwyn, only thou of noble worth, to rule with justice, to strike down evil. Who wields it in good cause shall slay even the Lord of Death.

Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen Hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh.

They were recorded without processed cheese. Listen to old '50s records. The style may be dated, but the recording isn't.

Net Neutrality' is Obamacare for the Internet; the Internet should not operate at the speed of government.

It takes more than industry to industrialize.