I want to let my fans know I love them and I'm coming your way and I'm bringing truckloads of funny.

Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.

My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.

And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I'm a beautiful, black butterfly.

Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses.

I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it's cool to have strong and powerful pets.

I see knowledge of self. I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.

Don't follow in my footsteps. Be original, and create your own path. Be a trailblazer! Do you! Be better than me. Do you! Be happy and have joy in your life.

I love my mother. My mother made sure, her stubbornness - she made sure we was going to eat. She made sure we had Christmases. That was my mother. My father wasn't there for that.

My father said: "If you want to catch your girl cheating, you knock on the front door and run to the back, because he's coming out the back."

I love this cornbread so much, I wanna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.

Contemporary' was in those days [1953] synonymous with 'modern' as it had not been before and is not now [1977].

Tell me, Choi Yoori...are your lips as soft as they look?

When you get crapped on, grow a garden.

The political core of any movement for freedom in the society has to have the political imperative to protect free speech.

To me, hockey was always tremendous fun. That's what kept me going for so long. I simply love to play hockey.

Arise now, arise, Riders of Théoden! Dire deeds awake, dark is it eastward. Let horse be bridled, horn be sounded! Forth Eorlingas!

All we got is the family unbroke.

The goal is not to be better than anyone else but rather be better than you were yesterday.

What I would argue in my defence is that shows like Britain's Got Talent and The X Factor have actually got people more interested in music again and are sending more people into record stores.

It is delightful to kiss the eyelashes of the beloved--is it not? But never so delightful as when fresh tears are on them.