I want to really take chances. I want to be funny in a lot of different ways. I'd like to be great. I want to reach for greatness.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

No matter what happens or what we go through, there is always a miracle waiting for us. The miracle is you.

I am crazy enough to think I owe the world a change.

We've got some talented people in my family in regards to football, and we do it the right way.

Since politics — until recently — has been a man’s world, men, as a whole are responsible for its corruption.

I feel a little guilty only being an actor.

It is very risky. But each time a child opens a book, he pushes open the gate that separates him from Elsewhere.

Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass.

Only the gamefish swims upstream, But the sensible fish swims down.

I'm a comedian so I'm not waiting around for someone to write a part for me. I don't have to wait for somebody else to create my next job; I have the ability to basically write my own ticket.

Coercion may prevent many transgressions; but it robs even actions which are legal of a part of their beauty. Freedom may lead to many transgressions, but it lends even to vices a less ignoble form.