I want you to know that I have nothing against Orlando, though you are, of course, far more likely to get shot or robbed there than in London.

I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.

It is just flipping unbelievable. He is a mixture of Harry Houdini and a greased piglet. He is barely human in his elusiveness. Nailing Blair is like trying to pin jelly to a wall.

My speaking style was criticised by no less an authority than Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was a low moment, my friends, to have my rhetorical skills denounced by a monosyllabic Austrian cyborg.

It is possible to have a pretty good life and career being a leech and a parasite in the media world, gadding about from TV studio to TV studio, writing inconsequential pieces and having a good time.

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it.

The only reason I wouldn't go to some parts of New York is the real risk of meeting Donald Trump.

My ideal world is, we're there, we're in the EU, trying to make it better.

There is absolutely no one, apart from yourself, who can prevent you, in the middle of the night, from sneaking down to tidy up the edges of that hunk of cheese at the back of the fridge.

In 1904, 20 per cent of journeys were made by bicycle in London. I want to see a figure like that again. If you can't turn the clock back to 1904, what's the point of being a Conservative?

I am supporting David Cameron purely out of cynical self-interest.

Forgiveness... a secret garden where Joy and miracles abound, and the garden is always open to everyone who makes the Loving choice to visit there.

It is not the crook in modern business that we fear but the honest man who does not know what he is doing.

I've had contact with Arsenal and Chelsea, but it's a bit of a mess.

I'm the bestest/on a bad day I spit asbestos.

God will finish what He authors, but He is not obligated to finish what He has not authored.

Tell me what your vision of the future and I will tell you what you are.

I'm right here. This is who I really am. I'm not pretending.

Sometimes people can be guilty of not working at relationships and if it's not working, oof, that's it.

There are mornings when everything brims with promise, even my empty cup.

I am bundle of nerves riddled with irrational fears.