I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.

Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both ... different. In spelling.

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.

Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).

I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them.

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

The finest fury is the most controlled.

One mustn't refuse the unusual, if it is offered to one.

Wit is well-bred insolence.

An American presidential campaign resembles a forced march through enemy country.

Tonight I am going with my wife to a Democratic party, where we're going to...try to be happy.

One should make morals judgements for oneself.

Every era of renaissance has come out of new freedoms for peoples. The coming renaissance will be greater than any in human history, for this time all the peoples of the earth will share in it.

If the defender is forced to give up the center, then every possible attack follows almost of itself.

Children's books have great potential to reveal new possibilities to readers, because the intended audience is at an age of genuine learning.

When you exercise your freedom to express yourself at the lowest level, you ultimately condemn yourself to live at that level.