I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian.

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then.

Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.

Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don't want to in order to figure out what it is you're supposed to do.

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone

Empathy is the door to wisdom.

The world is an astounding place, and we can see it every day, if we're open to it.

Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you.

Every storm runs, runs out of rain

Being feminine in the way you dress doesn't have to compromise who you are as a woman or your career.

Learn how to separate the majors and the minors. A lot of people don't do well simply because they major in minor things.

You know how hind-sight is 20/20? Love is when you look back and wouldn't change anything.

Dates in Calendar are Closer Than They Appear! Time is what keeps everything from happening at once. Keep a diary, and someday it'll keep you.

When I started acting, I was told over and over again, 'You're no good.' But I said to myself, 'You've got to keep it up.'

Talent imitates, genius steals.