I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Once upon a time, about 20 years ago, runners believed they didn't have to do anything but run

A mathematician is a magician who converts adjectives into nouns: continuous into continuum, infinite into infinity, infinitesimal into location, 0D into point, 1D into line, curved into geodesic.

If God has shown us bad times ahead, it's enough for me that He knows about them. That's why He sometimes shows us things, you know - to tell us that this too is in His hands.

I love the fast lane.

In the ordinary business of life, industry can do anything which genius can do, and very many things which it cannot.

Why spend your whole life trying to be somebody that you're not? It's so much more fun to be yourself **** what everybody says.

Do no evilness because it is a small one; do not leave a small deed undone because it is just a petty one.

Writing should be an adventure, shrouded in mystery and uncertainty, blessed with amazing grace. In theory, of course

I never did a single wise thing in the whole course of my existence, although I have written many which have been thought so.

Are you and I perchance caught up in a dream from which we have not yet awakened?