I was a-trembling, because I'd got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

It's interesting, isn't it? . . . the chandelier . . . it reminds me of mushroom soup.

A garden, you know, is a very usual refuge of a disappointed politician. Accordingly, I have purchased a few acres about nine miles from town, have built a house, and am cultivating a garden.

Take it back, Ed. Take it all back.

I love jokes, but God, jokes can go so wrong. I have stayed up many nights thinking, "F**k. I can't believe I made that silly little joke. That was a disaster."

My vision of a 'new world order' foresees a United Nations with a revitalized peacekeeping function.

I live a very Kenneth Williams-like existence.

The size and quality of your achievement will depend largely upon what sort of image you have of yourself at your best.

If I thought I was going to die tomorrow, I should nevertheless plant a tree today.

She was sad with an obscure sadness of which she had not the secret herself. There was in her whole person the stupor of a life ended but never commenced.

Compassion in action may be the glorious possibility that could protect our crowded, polluted planet.