I was absolutely a non-starter at games. My report for rugby said, 'Nigel's chief contribution is his presence on the field.' I used to pray for rain and sometimes it did rain - and we played anyway.

Democracy is too good to share with just anybody.

How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?

I was terribly shy and never said anything in class. Then I started getting into school plays. When you've got words to say, you've got a sort of armour.

Lord Castlerosse was taken to task by Nancy Astor over the size of his stomach. 'What would you say if that was on a woman?' she asked, pointedly. 'Half an hour ago it was,' he replied.

Rees's First Law of Quotations: When in doubt, ascribe all quotations to George Bernard Shaw.

It is part of politics to make things look better than they really are. What is a spin doctor but a serial euphemiser?

Euphemism in the workplace does not end with job descriptions. It reaches a pusillanimous peak at the other end of the work process - in dismissal.

I was broadcast-struck from an early age; I had saved up for a tape recorder and started making programmes.

People will say what they want to say, in the way they want to.

I am only too aware that I am open to Rees's Second Law of Quotation: "However sure you are that you have attributed a quotation correctly, an earlier source will be pointed out to you."

I thought that the light-house looked lovely as hope, That star on life's tremulous ocean.

What strikes me is that there's a very fine line between success and failure. Just one ingredient can make the difference.

If you take "Cheers" and "Seinfeld" and watch the early shows, they're kind of awkward. It took a while for the writers and everything to gel.

Like most people, you listen to yourself on the phone or an answering machine and you're like, 'Ugh.' So to do something with just your voice is hard.

Delight in the scenery of each day.

I am a gift of joy that God gives to a wonderful world.

If any movie people are watching this show, please, for me, have some respect. You wanna sell some tickets, act like you know what you're talking about.

I was in the underground until I left Germany.

We never do anything consciously for the last time without sadness of heart.

What seems to be, is, to those to whom it seems to be, and is productive of the most dreadful consequences to those to whom it seems to be, even of torments, despair, eternal death.