I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

The man in our society is the breadwinner; the woman has enough to do as the homemaker, wife and mother.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

the drama below and the drama above could easily collide at any moment

The first step towards knowledge is to know that we are ignorant.

You write a book and you hope somebody will go out and pay $24.95 for what you've just said. I think books were my salvation. Books saved me from being miserable.

Failures aren't failures if you learn something from them.

Colour is what gives jewels their worth. They light up and enhance the face. Nothing is more elegant than a black skirt and sweater worn with a sparkling multi-stoned necklace.

There is no such thing as collective guilt.

You always think "woulda, coulda, shoulda." I wish that I had prosecuted Tot Mom, I wish I'd prosecuted OJ, and I wish I had prosecuted the JonBenet Ramsey case.

Peas went with carrots as infallibly as ham went with eggs. For years I thought carrots and peas grew on the same vine.

Not since Jimmy Carr have I seen a cold computer programme on stage generate so much laughter.

Three years between records is longer than average. Double albums are much more of a statement. I really wanted to put myself out there as much as I possibly could.