I was an angst-y journal writing kid.

The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and just ain't spitting it out.

If it's not bourbon or sweatpants, it's going in the garbage.... No, don't get creative. Now is not a creative time. Now is a bourbon and sweatpants time.

On Furnishing One's Home - Pick your furniture like you pick a wife; it should make you feel comfortable and look nice, but not so nice that if someone walks past it they want to steal it.

Los Angeles is like San Diego's older, uglier sister that has herpes.

I just want silence... Jesus, it doesn't mean I don't like you. It just means right now, I like silence more.

Writing a book is incredibly pleasurable, but very solitary. You have total control, but sometimes that can drive you insane.

Why would you throw a ball in someone's face?...Huh. That's a pretty good reason. Well, I can't do much about your teacher being pissed, but me and you are good.

No, you can't go getting mad at people because they're shitty. Life will get mad at them, don't worry.

You go ahead. I'd rather not be shot out of a tube into a pool filled with a bunch of nine-year-olds' urine.

You're like a tornado of bullshit right now. We'll talk again when your bullshit dies out over someone else's house.

Failure is just another give way sign, not a stop sign.

If we seek for the best times to act, we may miss some opportunities. We must seize the moment and make it great.

Together we all live every momentOn the very brink

The roots of any evil deed can be traced to the perpetrator's refusal to experience pain.

I always take a less-is-more approach to my routine, and use products that create a sun-kissed glow that can transition from day to night.

Whether you realize it or not, you have the power to be successful.

The temple of art is built of words. Painting and sculpture and music are but the blazon of its windows, borrowing all their significance from the light, and suggestive only of the temple's uses.

The house was as empty as a beer closet in premises where painters have been at work.

Every time we give our word, it counts. For the most part, people give their word entirely too often. Our word is a precious commodity and should be treated as such.

A joyless Catholic is the devil's best tool. A joyful Catholic is God's greatest instrument.