I was born at a very early age. Before I had time to regret it, I was four and a half years old.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Politics is for the moment and equation is for eternity.

Music empowers the soul with great strength.

Hasn't anyone told you anger is unbecoming?

When I get in the sun I get very tanned. You can't tell me from the native fishermen in Hawaii or Mexico.

Look to the temple of the Lord as the great symbol of your membership.

Why is it that whenever I hear a piece of music I don't like, it's always by Villa Lobos?

I am very romantic about communism even still, but I know terrible things happened.

God has challenged me to grow in my knowledge of Him but I have to CHOOSE whether or not to display this growth through my actions.

Humans have always unknowingly affected all Universe by every act and thought they articulate or even consider.

You know what the critics are. If you tell the truth they only say you're cynical and it does an author no good to get a reputation for cynicism.