I was born in Waukegan a long, long time ago. As a matter of fact, our rabbi was an Indian.

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

No matter how often I tell people I'm thirty-nine some of them refuse to believe I'm that old.

A rich man is one who isn't afraid to ask the salesperson to show him something cheaper.

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

I went to a meeting for premature ejactulators. I left early.

If you want to travel on the path of moksha (ultimate liberation), ‘You’ (the Self) do not have to ‘do’ anything. And if you want to wander in the worldly life, ‘You’ have to ‘do’ everything.

There has to be evil so that good can prove its purity above it.

But I'm lost when it comes to you.

Clearly, the decision-making that we rely on in society is fallible. It's highly fallible, and we should know that.

You can say, 'Can I use your bathroom?' and nobody cares. But if you ask, 'Can I use the plop-plop machine?' it always breaks the conversation.

There are three floors beneath the garage? Why on earth?" -Mac

But if you have a book that needs urgent reading,' she said, 'then Hakim is your man.

I guess that's one achievement I'm really proud of. Saving Chrysler was more than jobs, more than shareholder value. Saving Chrysler was a good idea for the whole country.

Man may aspire to virtue, but he cannot reasonably aspire to truth.

Too often in life we pass by important things. Let's pause, change perspective and see things more clearly.