I was compiling a list in my head titled 'Reasons to Get Up: You Don't Have to Leave, but You Can't Pee Here.

Our brains are like bonsai trees, growing around our private versions of reality.

Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who know where their high school yearbook is and those who do not.

If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can't afford to be with them.

Unless you are a professional, you will find the tart to be a high-maintenance, unforgiving whistle-blower of a pastry.

I would gladly have accepted a heaping spoonful of nepotism when I got out of college and was looking for a job.

Book tours are such a little tapas meal of where I could live.

No affair that begins with such an orchestrated overture can end on a simple note.

Uniqueness is wasted on youth. Like fine wine or a solid flossing habit, you'll be grateful for it when you're older.

I like to try to do a little work before I do anything in the morning, even if it's a paragraph.

If the word doesn't exist, invent it; but first be sure it doesn't exist.

I have never met a successful person that was a quitter. Successful people never, ever, give up!

The biggest weapon of mass destruction in history is the AK-47, not Iranian nuclear weapons.

To be loved by God is the highest relationship.

All, the intelligent and stupid, diligent and idle, have been swept along on a current of increased output that, in the usual case, owed nothing whatever to their efforts.

This is the generation whose first cry of life was the Hungarian uprising.

I like to get a vibe first, then a melody and really beat up the melody for a while, then try and find a lyric that really suits him/her.

I went through a pretty serious illness early in my life and I made a movie about that.

The schools I went to as a kid made me wary. It was clear to me that everything was a lie except math.

The mass of mankind has not been born with saddles on their backs, nor a favored few booted and spurred, ready to ride them legitimately, by the grace of God.