I was completely nuts for most of my life.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

In the 21st century, I think the heroes will be the people who will improve the quality of life, fight poverty and introduce more sustainability.

I take great solace that Einstein failed math. I failed math. I also failed English and home economics. Einstein was an underachiever.

I believe cats to be spirits come to earth.

Friendship, Roland realized, was its very own kind of love.

Performing comedy, you develop a rhythm of ideas and laughs. I live for it.

My wife and I are art collectors and architectural crazies.

Be egalitarian regarding persons. Be elitist regarding ideas.

What are you? An after school special?

I had a dog I raised for many years. He was a Pekingese with big eyes and a flat face, very cute.