I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.

If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.

You can't fix stupid.

I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.

I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.

I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.

In Texas, we have the death penalty, and we use it. That's right. If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill you back.

The next time you have a thought... let it go.

Diamonds - that'll shut her up... for a minute!

How can you get what you want if you do not know what you are seeking?

My attitude to you will always be the same no matter if you love me or hate me.

The American family shattered for the simple reason that it was American, not global.

The light that lies In woman's eyes.

You don't rest well as long as you're seeking vengeance. I feel sad justice wasn't done, but it's time to move on and sleep well.

The finished product is not finished when the actor is. The work is completed by a pair of shears.

There is pleasure in the pathless woods.

Do they give Pulitzers for tweets yet?

You can't really measure your game. You can shoot seven under and lose and you can shoot even and win.

I don't think there was enough skepticism because I think most of us kind of believed that Saddam Hussein was building biological, chemical, and perhaps even, nuclear weapons.