I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.

I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.

I'm a late-night guy.

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.

When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever.

My interest was magic, believe it or not. I became an amateur magician and did something like 400 magic shows through my teen years.

'Free Fallin' is a very good song. Maybe it would be one of my favorites if it hadn't become this huge anthem. But I'm grateful that people like it.

Watch out! It's quite possible that some of my best mistakes haven't yet been made.

Anybody that's a Dolphins fan feels they're headed in the right direction.

There are three waies, the Vniversities, the Sea, the Court.

I've never thought my speeches were too long; I've rather enjoyed them.

I have fruit trees. Cows for fresh milk, yoghurt. My own wheat. I'm basically self-sufficient.

The Negro is nothing but an ex-slave who is now trying to get himself integrated into the slave master's house.

Not everyone has a purpose.

My meditation is not something separate from life, it is something that has to be spread all over life.