I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres.

Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink.

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

Find out who you are and be that person. That's what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come.

I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.

It's our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting.

Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are.

Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost.

Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.

When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.

We do not believe until we want a thing and feel that we shall die if it is not granted to us and then we kneel and believe.

The reins of government have been so long slackened, that I fear the people will not quietly submit to those restraints which are necessary for the peace and security of the community.

If a politician is running in your local community who's pro-choice, who's feminist in their thinking, get behind them. Send them some money! If you have no money but have time, lick stamps!

And what is the greatest number? Number one.

Words are but symbols for the relations of things to one another and to us; nowhere do they touch upon absolute truth.

Angels contented with their face in heaven, Seek not the praise of men.

All science would be superfluous if the outward appearance and the essence of things directly coincided.

You always have to work to become a better singer, songwriter and performer.

I just consider myself lucky that I've been a musician this long and not had to find another job.

The words: never, can't, quit, and fail, are not in my vocabulary.