I was just struggling with my inner vachette and pondering the depths of my own inhumanity.

Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character.

At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me.

If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever.

The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.

I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself.

but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment.

I hate you' she said to me one afternoon. 'I really, really hate you.' Call me sensitive, but I couldn't help but take it personally.

People are often frightened of Parisians, but an American in Paris will find no harsher critic than another American.

My first semester I had only nine students. Hoping they might view me as professional and well prepared, I arrived bearing name tags fashioned in the shape of maple leaves.

Scream at the mangled leather carcass lying at the foot of the stairs, and my parents would roar with laughter. "That's what you get for leaving your wallet on the kitchen table.

Doctoring her seemed to her as absurd as putting together the pieces of a broken vase. Her heart was broken. Why would they try to cure her with pills and powders?

Mel exhaled. "Why are you forcing me into the voice-of-reason role? You know that never works out for us.

There is no avoiding war

I don't like when everything sounds the same.

The main purpose of children's parties is to remind you that there are children more awful than your own.

You will be faced with facing all the things in yourself that keep you from knowing who you are, you'll have to stand up to roles and definitions that your family and culture have given you.

I particularly don't want to play unmotivated behavior.

You will turn over many a futile new leaf till you learn we must all write on scratched-out pages.

After all, Jews invented psychiatry to help other Jews become Gentiles.

Tories must end tribalism and divisions.