I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.

Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.

I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don't rush into adulthood, it isn't all that much fun.

I love portraying the totally indifferent person.

I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much.

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.

People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail.

It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves.

I still feel thirty, except when I try to run.

There's gratification in making somebody laugh. It's a wonderful sound. I find myself, to this day, doing it, wanting to make people laugh.

Be thankful for what you have and you will have more. Thinking of what you don’t have will only keep bringing you nothing.

It seems everything in nature that has beauty, also has a price.Let the value of our planets wildlife be to nature and nature alone.

I don't know any of us who are in relationships that are totally honest - it doesn't exist.

The doctors are always changing their opinions. They always have some new fad.

Push something in someone’s face, and they will shove it away reflexively. Threaten to snatch it away from them, and sometimes they become convinced that it is what they want.

A family with the wrong members in control; that, perhaps, is as near as one can come to describing England in a phrase.

For every path you choose, there is another you must abandon, usually forever.

There is always a melancholic silence before entering every New Year!

But I'm just having fun playing and giving Botox injections to the older songs.