I was number one in the ratings four times last year and twice this season. What could be more damn equal than that? If they get any more equal, I don't want it.

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

Being a comedian is like being a con man. You have to make 'em like you before you can fool 'em.

Violence is a tool of the ignorant.

Funny is an attitude.

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.

My main point is to be funny; if I can slip a message in there, fine.

When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.

Don't order one for the road, because the road is already laid out.

My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?

On the sixth day god created man, on the seventh day man created god.Now we are even.

Time slips away and leaves you with nothing, mister, but boring stories of glory days.

I've always been inspired even more by any naysayers to keep going for what I really want and they've almost been my inspiration many times more so than any positive people around me to conquer.

Ambition and hatred are enough to bring Iraq and al Qaeda together.

I've dreamt of being in a movie musical for a long time. For some reason I never even thought 'Les Mis' would be possible.

We're made up of energy, so who's to say you can't transmit through electrical means? If you could transmit yourself wirelessly, then it's Armageddon pretty much.

Ability is not always gauged by examination.

In drama school, my greatest strength was my range. So my early career was like that: I played all kinds of different characters.

Anything I do today, I regard as urgent.

I'm trying to do something real different; I'm trying to bring the street to real pop. I'm trying to bring the street to pop. Not watering it down, no nothing.