I was once dancing with a woman who told me she had a yeast infection so I told her to bake me some bread.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

I write for the same reason I eat chocolate - because it is, undeniably a compulsion.

All of us will give an account to God about our life on earth, about our position and actions

One day of happiness is worth more than a lifetime of sorrow .... Under ordinary circumstances, jealousy is a suspicion to the person who excites it and degrading to the person who indulges it.

I don't necessarily agree with everything I read about my films, but I wouldn't highlight a specific misconception: If people think this or that about myself or my work, they must have their reasons.

In my career, people in the record business have been rockin' in the same ol' boat. They all crooks - I'll say it clear and loud - especially the big ones.

"Shoe" just meant you were a big jock on campus no matter what field you were in.

People don't smile because they're happy. They're happy because they smile.

Nothing stays the same, nothing remains static. Which way a thing changes depends on you.

Look at these worlds spinning out of nothingness. That is within your power.

Our conviction that we are free to choose what we make of a photograph hides the complicity to which we are recruited in the very act of looking.