I was raised Catholic in the Midwest, so I cant enjoy anything.

I'm not on this earth to be a goalie. I'm not here to stop somebody from accomplishing their goals. If you're not hurting anybody, I'm here to either assist or get out of the way

I eat the same way Doc Brown fuels the DeLorean at the end of Back to the Future.

It's a Vietnamese soup that answers the question, 'What happens when a former child soldier pours hot rain water over fish nightmares.' It's delicious and I can't stop eating it, that's what happens.

What is there to say about ChUC other than it's a comedy show done the right way in the right space. Fantastic comics, welcoming audience. Always great.

I am somehow allowed by the universe to do exactly what I want to do to make a living.

Sometimes your dreams come true, and its a real drag.

The time that I have on this earth should just be filled with good times.

Comedy doesn't have to be loud and obnoxious and beat you over the head. It can be this really small detail that, when it computes in your brain, you think, "That's great. That's masterful."

Young writers take themselves very seriously in college.

I'm lucky I'm a comedian, 'cause otherwise my life would just be a series of undocumented low points.

You can get addicted to trouble if you're not careful.

When I was growing up we didn't have a massive house and there were five women running around, so my dad and I had to stick together!

We do not have the right to make the name of God look bad by our pitiful and impoverished existence

Maggie had learned a long time ago that each day with a child was filled with two kinds of battles: those that won the war, and those that did not.

A world in which people with learning difficulties have access to the resources they need to live happier, healthier, more secure and more meaningful lives.

The art of conducting consists in knowing when to stop conducting to let the orchestra play.

I've never really lived a conventional life, so I think it's quite foolish for me or anyone else to start thinking that I am going to start making conventional choices.

We fight, get beat, rise, and fight again.

Can liberty be destroyed by the truth?