I was raised by a mother who told me I was great every day of my life.

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

The greatest service, you can do, to the existence, is serving yourself. If you serve yourself and take care of, yourself, anything that comes out of you, will add meaning and beauty to life.

The only thing worst than being hurt is everyone knowing that yoou're hurt.

The land of wonder is full of lights.

Trouble will rain on those who are already wet.

Every morning I tell myself, 'Today has to be productive' - and then something happens that prevents me from writing.

I'm constantly looking to see whether I look the same as I did earlier, whether I've put on or lost any weight.

The first job of the president of the United States is to protect your safety and your security and the security and safety of your family.

It is not doubt,is certitude that drives you mad.

the blue and cloudless day closes like the lid of a casket of jewels upon the violet rim of sea, and shuts out the light.

In response to a suggestion that total free trade would end in cheaper foreign products flooding the market and causing unemployment.