I was reading emails from women who are alternately chuckling or outraged. One of them said, "Do you hate women? Would you just be honest?" No, folks, no! It's quite the opposite.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

Absolute statements of our unbelief that we make in the darkness are notoriously unreliable.

War is to man what motherhood is to a woman. From a philosophical and doctrinal viewpoint, I do not believe in perpetual peace.

I've just had some of the worst situations with the most beautiful girls, who I just could not stand talking to anymore. The physical only lasts for so long.

Don't blame yourself for the declines, because one day you will credit yourself for the increases.

Where would fashion be without literature?

I think I’m moody because I’m a woman. I can ask any man in this room, like women are just inherently like, moody or hormonal people. I don’t know how men deal with it. I praise them.

Mao appears to be quite free from symptoms of megalomania, but he has a deep sense of personal dignity, and something about him suggests a power of ruthless decision when he deems it necessary.

I'm into grilled cheese. Grilled cheese makes me feel beautiful!

Sometimes...we don't want to feel like a postmodern, postfeminist, overstretched woman but, rather, a domestic goddess, trailing nutmeggy fumes of baking pie in our languorous wake.

Two things Florida can teach the other 49 states: how to make a good margarita and how to deal with the aftermath of a hurricane.