I was really, because I thought it was extremely excruciating when I watched a tape of it, that my husband taped for me and I never watched it again after that.

By puberty I learned that nothing worth having could be easily attained and to succeed one must be single minded.

As long as we prioritize material truths over spiritual truths we will live in tyranny because we are living an illusion

You must not feel persecuted and examined. Liberate yourself from the idea that people are watching you.

The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.

People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person but it doesn't. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare.

I get fixated when I'm bleeding -- I can see why they went in for blood-letting in the medieval times because it makes you feel a bit better. When I cut myself, the drama of it calms me down.

A library doesn't need windows. A library is a window.

There are two types of people in this world: one who opens a packet of biscuits, has one and puts the rest back in the cupboard, and one who eats the whole packet in one go.

The bad-boy label is just an assumption.

There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics; it's something to do with the social structure of society.

Universal emptiness is mere concept.The fact is, there was never emptiness.

An hour before his world exploded like a ripe tomato under a stiletto heel, Myron bit into a fresh pastry that tasted suspiciously like urinal cake.

I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.

A life I didn't choose chose me: even my tools are the wrong ones for what I have to do.

You shall become the person you are.

We all have to face pain, and pain makes us grow.

There are two things that one must get used to or one will find life unendurable: the damages of time and injustices of men.

Being a great fighter is having a perfect balance of having that toughness, skill, as well as that mental capability to be able to out-think you opponent.

You know the one thing that's wrong with this country? Everyone gets a chance to have their fair say.