I was scared into being good. But I'm sure I did regular kid stuff.

Blaming guns for killing people is like blaming pencils for bad spelling

Sometimes you've gotta wreck the truck to get the insurance money to make the payment on the truck.

I'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Remember, half the people you know are below average.

I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, Man, if it upsets you that much, quit countin' them!

You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled-up newspaper?

I'm on the diet where you eat vegetables and drink wine. That's a good diet. I lost 10 pounds and my driver's license.

Every July, I look forward to taping a Christmas show - in July in Nashville. In 98-degree weather. I love it.

I ALWAYS HAVE DONE WELL HOWEVER IN BLUE STATES AND RED STATES. IVE NEVER REALLY ALIGNED MYSELF WITH ALL THAT RED STATE BLUE STATE DR. SUESS CRAP BECAUSE WERE ALL AMERICANS AND WE ALL LIKE TO LAUGH.

We must share! Sharing IS caring. Share everything: every idea, every resource, every story, every gift, every worry and every burden. Share yourself.

You think winter will never end, and then, when you don't expect it, when you have almost forgotten it, warmth comes and a different light.

No I don't ever give up. I would have to be dead or completely incapacitated

There never has been a house so bad that it couldn't be made over into something worthwhile.

We have to learn again that science without contact with experiments is an enterprise which is likely to go completely astray into imaginary conjecture.

I always have my passport on me, as well as two currencies.

I'm a traditional country singer and we're always trying to make that a fresh and modern sound. That's always going to be the challenge with me.

A lot of singers that I've heard that I may not like their sensibility, but I see that they're entitled to whatever they get. People don't get there without talent, they really don't.

The buildings ... had suffered the inevitable shrinkage of places revisited.

To keep our hand on the plow while wiping away our tears -- THAT is Christianity!