I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.

Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

By exchanging quality time for 'turn-up' times, what many of today's wayward youngsters have become - men and women of the village have failed them.

Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.

True love is so hard to find, and they say that once you found it you lost your mind.

In this sense, the theory of the Communists may be summed up in the single sentence: Abolition of private property. - Manifesto of the Communist Party

I'm sayin', why spend mine when I can spend yours?

When I die Bookchinism comes to an end, and all the allusions to it both among Marxists and anarchists.

Don't let yourself be thrown away....Continue on no matter what....Continue to make a positive effort for the good.

We must accept life for what it actually is - a challenge to our quality without which we should never know of what stuff we are made, or grow to our full stature.

I define anxiety as experiencing failure in advance.

It was SHE. Whoever has loved knows all the radiant meaning contained in the three letters of this word ‘she.