I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

A lion does not become king of the jungle hunting mice.

And that's like my world." Annie pointed up to the stars again."Inaccecible.

Within these strangely specific conditions, everything is perfect. We are perfect.

Television is so cool. Television is proving that we can be sophisticated and that people will watch, if it's good.

Perseverance is king.

Girls like to see girls dressed up like princesses occasionally. Guys don”t really care, they just want to get the clothes off.

We cannot interfere in one area of the ecosystem without paying due attention to both the consequences of such interference in other areas and to the well-being of future generations.

My psychiatrist once said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone'.

Nothing could be smarter, more splendid, more brilliant, better drawn up than two armies. Trumpets, fifes, hautboys, drums, cannons, formed a harmony such as never been heard in hell.

The fox condemns the trap, not himself.