I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

They ought to find out how to vaccinate for love, like smallpox.

The highest degree of human attainment comes when a person is blissfully at peace with his or her own nature and the natural world.

Women are playing [hockey] because they love it, not because they’re trying to be a woman in a man’s game.

Jeb Bush is conservative governor,his record as governor is more conservative than any current republican governor in the country.

I just wanted to go out and make a record that Ive always wanted to make since I was a kid.

Sometimes serendipity is just intention unmasked.

In the end, it is important to remember that we cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are.

FACE A SINGLE FOE as if you are facing ten thousand enemies; face ten thousand enemies as a single foe.

Our culture raises us to seek success but we are not taught how to live with it.

It is not primarily ideas that have a history; it is societies. And then what often seem opposed ideas can in the end be seen as parts of a single social process.