I was the best man at the wedding. So why is she marrying him?

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

India has the purity, the innocence. India knows what it wants. There is a direction. It has so much to offer.

I think that I am profoundly influenced by writers who have explored loss, and longing, and fear. Those influences have turned me into a thriller writer, essentially.

I also think people should never turn down an opportunity to hold a baby. There's something about the feeling of a new baby in your arms that just fixes you.

If its December 1941 in Casablanca, what time is it in New York?

You risk becoming a parody of yourself by not innovating.

I'm rubber and you're glue," I told Satan, " and everything that bounces of me sticks to you.

If we are to know the Lord, we must go to Him. Listen to Him in silence before the Tabernacle and approach Him in the Sacraments.

Listen, if my career was to end tomorrow, I would have no complaints whatsoever.

Every voice doesn't matter--only the voices that move your idea forward, that make it better, that make you better, that make it more likely you will ship work that benefits your tribe.

All great leaders constantly seek new information and new ways of thinking.