I was the designated grown up in a family that operated in different reality than the rest of the world.

Long-haired Chihuahuas have no notion they are bite-sized.

My major vice is sarcasm with a side of caffeine addiction.

When your family is twice as weird as normal, you have to be twice as polite to authority, because authority hates weird.

Taylor: what do you hear? Daisy: Nothing but rain

That was easy for him to say when his cell phone was rounding third base. If anyone got a home run tonight, I didn't want it to be Verizon Wireless.

Faith isn't absence of doubt. It's belief without proof, not without question.

Don’t ever trust anyone who’s writing a book. They make up lies for a living.

She was the only creature in the world who would really care if something happened to me, even if it was only because I was the bringer of kibble.

How about this?" I said, because now it was the principle of the thing. "I'm sorry, jackass.

Focus, Amy. Just because he looked great in the saddle did not mean he wasn't an axe murderer.

Don't just read words, ' he would tell her as he held up the latest story, 'devour them. Let the words create new worlds.

Mediation - Before you learn how to meditate, you must unlearn what you think meditation might be.

Indeed, if the Framers intended unenumerated rights to be protected without a bill of rights, how can we imagine that those rights were meant to be any less secure with a bill of rights.

There are days when I can hear men tying their shoe laces in the gallery.

All my good reading, you might say, was done in the toilet.

The only real access that I have to my mind is when I'm writing.

My music is very, very precise. It's very rigorous. The forms are much more intricate than you would imagine.

... the lead is now 6.9 seconds. In fact it's just under 7 seconds

She flashes me a smile so devastating that it could even make an atheist believe in God.