I was the founder of the Cartoon Bank in the 90s. I was interested in finding ways for cartoonists to supplement their incomes.

Humor is basically a cognitive process. And it's a creative process not only on the part of the cartoonist but on the part of the viewer.

There is no Algorithm for Humor

While the end-of-the-world scenario will be rife with unimaginable horrors, we believe that the pre-end period will be filled with unprecedented opportunities for profit.

Im pretty adept with computers and Photoshop for my blog, and I found my style with a conversational voice and an image-ready column.

If you have any problems at all, don't hesitate to shut up.

I do find that humor helps in relationships. It certainly helps in my marriage now because I'm a very, very fallible person. And if I wasn't funny I'd be kicked right out the door.

The digital realm give cartoons and cartoonists more possibilities for exposure.

There is humor that's just whimsy, that we smile at, but the humor that we laugh at, someone has to be - someone's dignity has to be reduced.

Each cartoon needs the right amount of wrong.

There are no cartoons about happy marriages.

Politics is shit

The larger the bricks your enemies throw at you the larger the palace you are going to build.

What was the point of being holed up with someone who didn't believe in me when I had people out there who did?

Every man alive is half idiot & half hero. Only heroes could survive in this maelstrom & only idiots would want to.

Life at times is a bunch of crap, the nice part about crap is that it's biodegradable.

By going over your day in imagination before you begin it you can begin acting successfully at any moment.

My wife told me that in the Bible, Abraham circumcised himself... wow! I can't even get to the bank before it closes.

When you run ads saying you are going to save social security, my friend, that's all hat and no cattle.

Couples should be required to submit applications to have a child.

There are good and bad movies, and long ones, and pretentious ones, and fun ones, and it's kind of healthy not just being able to switch off after ten minutes, but have patience.