I was very dirty; I was a very dirty comic. There was no way I would have gotten on TV with the act I had when I first started.

I don't want to die tomorrow knowing I could've had a piece of cake tonight.

There's 5 levels of fatness! Fluffy is one of the levels. There's big, healthy, husky, fluffy and damn.

Why do people measure life by the years instead of how good the years were?

I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake.

Me racist? The only race I hate is the one you have to run.

Life is measured by how you lived it, not by the years.

With all the classes they offer at school, how come they don't have one for common sense?

When you go to Hawaii, it's all about "Aloha." It means hello, goodbye and I love you.

You live by the cake, you die by the cake.

I had to travel half way across the world to be called an American.

Then be human. Let go and move on. They who hurt you cannot expand their mind. But surely you can.

Inspiration comes from within yourself. One has to be positive. When you're positive, good things happen.

Most creative work is a process of people passing ideas and inspirations from the past into the future and adding their own creativity along the way.

Nothing in the outer world makes you feel any way. You decide what you want to feel, and then use outer people and events as permission slips to execute your feeling agenda.

I come from an overly confident place. But I'm overconfident because of feelings of inferiority.

Cinema is all about going back from shadow to light and back and forth: cinema is a place of transgression.

New York is great though. If you?re here and want a one of a kind souvenir be sure to take home the police sketch of your assailant.

I didn't know there was a dying-professor section at the bookstore.

I can get a script and go, "Well, I'd rather do stand-up." I don't hold movies in higher regard. I love making videos and posting. I love TV.

I grew up going to museums. I was privileged to discover art and artists in a very personal way.