I was very surprised how many people were earnestly reminiscing about the '80s. It's such a stupid thing to do, like, to be honestly invested in nostalgia. It never even occurred to me to do that.

I don't chase after things, but I put forward the effort and know the rest of it is out of my hands.

I don't necessarily self-identify as a writer, 'cause it implies a certain level of intelligence.

The thing about narcissistic people is that they don't think they're being narcissistic.

Your harshest critic is always going to be yourself. Don't ignore that critic, but don't give it more attention than it deserves.

I take my coffee like I take my women... strong... black... and proud.

Internet fame is like regular fame only without all the annoying 'money' and 'power.'

Super excited about things I'm going to do; never excited about things I'm actually doing.

You have to lead, in the case of a game show, a contestant through the architecture of the show. So there's a lot of rules there, literal and implied, that you have to navigate.

Whatever I write I publish. Because that's where the money is.

Shuffling really isn't something you should be doing on your deathbed.

Once you eliminate the persona that was created to survive. The real you will have permission to come forward, and enjoy the life that is meant to thrive.

Babies smile without any reason. Be like a baby.

Life is a race, and what matters most isn't when a person crosses the finish line, but how strong they've grown along the way.

Mental degeneracy may be caused by lead poisoning. Or by a poor dip in the gene pool.

To fight the violence we must be brave, hold on strong to the love God gave.

When the heart submits, then Jesus reigns. When Jesus reigns, there is rest.

When we rejoice in our fullness, then we can part with our fruits with joy.

My comedy is like emotional hang-gliding.

Golf's for everybody.

Life is about balance. Be kind, but don’t let people abuse you. Trust, but don’t be deceived. Be content, but never stop improving yourself.