I was voted funniest person in my middle-school yearbook. So I guess I was funny in middle school?

I think of myself as kind of a hippy. Everyone around me says that's not the impression they get. They think I'm sassy. Apparently, I think I'm nicer than I really am.

People have confused playing devil's advocate with being intelligent.

Let's give it up for the Secret Service. I don't want to be too hard on those guys. You know, because they're the only law enforcement agency that will get in trouble if a black man gets shot.

What can I say about Brian Williams. Nothing, because I work for NBC.

There's so much more bad information than good information out there - everybody's got something to say and it's usually wrong.

I'm also the first straight woman to host this in 20 years, so, we finally made it, straight people.

You have to put work into relationships to keep them fun.

I like Instagram - I love pictures, I just dont take them very often.

I always feel the most validated and confident being around people that I find funny - having Fred Armisen laugh at a scene or Bill Hader or Seth Meyers give me a compliment.

I solemnly swear not to talk about Hillary's appearance, because that is not journalism.

When you plant the seeds, wait patiently to see the ripen fruits.

You don't get any points in life for doing things the hard way.

yoga is the science of reality

The old attitude toward newspapers was that they were completely disposable - today's newspaper is tomorrow's fish wrap.

All the distinctive features and superiority of our republican institutions are derived from the teachings of Scripture.

The Royal Festival Hall in London is nice; people hang out there. I think this inviting, non-exclusive character is very important.

People come to my shows and know that they're going to hear about what's going on in the world - what's happening at the moment. My material is as new as anything on the dinner table.

There is no passion that is not finely expressed in those parts of the inspired writings which are proper for divine songs and anthems.

In the game of basketball, I play first off because I love it. I love to have fun. I love to run up and down the court.

Intemperance in talk makes dreadful havoc in the heart.