I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

St. Bernard said, ‘Every word one writes smites the Devil.

Em didn't truly understand about my panic attacks - no one did. But she'd never pushed me to explain, never tried to ditch me when things got weird, and never once looked at me like I was a freak.

I am often asked the question How can the masses permit themselves to be exploited by the few. The answer is By being persuaded to identify with them.

Careful now: even a financially rewarding, intellectually stimulating work environment isn’t the same as living your own values.

I'd love to teach a self-defense class for ladies, specifically about running away from psychos in masks chasing them with chainsaws.

That way you can be certain to learn something you didn't know previously.

I'm not a perfectionist. I'm just very observant.

I don't know any religion that promotes violence. It is the adherents of whatever religion.

Running hills breaks up your rhythm and forces your muscles to adapt to new stresses. The result? You become stronger.

I lost the accent years ago, but I'm still very proud to be Scottish, and I love wearing a kilt.