I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

The company owner doesn't need to win. The best idea does.

We have so much for what to be grateful and if we thank for it, we will have even much more.

What other people may think of the rightness or wrongness is nothing in comparison to my own deep knowledge, my innate conviction that it was wrong.

Most bands are commercial enterprises. But I'm not in one of those bands.

I think that G-O-D is like the answer to a formula for creating life.

The truth is, everything that's happened was supposed to happen. That doesn't mean I don't look back and think, God, I wish I hadn't had to go through some of those things.

You have to change your life if you’re not happy, and wake up if things aren’t going the way you want.

... it is curious how fatal it is, either to a situation or to an individual, or even to a name, if in an evil moment it becomes funny.

Nothing is true but Love, nor aught of worth; Love is the incense which doth sweeten earth.

You should always do the things in life that are both interesting and make you afraid.