I wasn't dating anyone. I was fornicating with Batman.

You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."-

I shot that sucker right in the gumpy." Grandma Mazur

The 'Barnaby' books were always intended to be graphic novels.

I'm done with men. I have a hamster. That's all I need.

When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.

My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco.

Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.

-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-

Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.

Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.

Being self-owned is a state of mind.

An idea upon which attention is peculiarly concentrated is an idea which tends to realize itself.

It does not take much to imagine the humanity of people you don't know. An American author does not need to know a word of Arabic to write a book like the one I wrote.

If you want to score a goal, you have to hit the target.

In my teens, I was never part of the cool crowd.

If you understand a painting beforehand, you might as well not paint it.

When I look into your eyes, one word leaps to my mind every time: Forever.

Everybody wants to fight me so they can be a superstar.

The smaller the mind, the greater the ego.

Some girls like to say one thing and mean another. And me being who I am, I'm very straightforward. Everything is very black and white for me. I don't really like playing mind games.