I wasn't in the drama department, but I auditioned anyway and he not only cast me but also included a few sketches that I wrote, which really sparked my pursuit of comedy.

I often think about my future wife and how lax she's been about getting in touch with me.

I'm keeping in shape, you know, gotta look good for the ladies - and certain guys. Hey, I can't control who's looking. I just gotta bring the heat.

You'll get them tomorrow. You gave it a good shot. Keep your chin up.

The more you perform, the more adept you get at the nuances of navigating that communal conversation.

I belong to a gym now... well, let me rephrase that: I don't belong there at all, but I go.

The blues is a hopeful music. It helps you process something rather than avoid it. It's like mourning, in essence.

I think there comes a time in any comedian's career where they can either coast or keep growing and evolving.

Comedy takes all of life and puts it through a lens of acceptance, just by the mere act of talking about it on stage in a communal setting. It's very primal and ritualistic in that sense.

Inherent in mourning is celebration. Mourning without celebration or some form of acceptance leaves you stuck.

Comedians act every night on stage, so they have great performing chops. They especially know how to play themselves, which is how we set 'Teachers Lounge' up.

The most important key to attaining any prize, is to never take your mental eye off from it.

The spiritual eyesight improves as the physical eyesight declines.

You must flow with the will of God, in the service of God, to obtain the power of God.

For I too liked reading, thought of a frivolous and childish kind; I could not digest or comprehend the serious or substantial.

She had been nobody and he had been golden.

Treat everyone like a gentleman, not because they are, but because you are.

It is in life as it is in ways, the shortest way is commonly the foulest, and surely the fairer way is not much about.

And the cornerstone of my economic policies, when I first got elected, was cutting taxes on everybody on who paid taxes.

It's not what you are. It's what you do.

We listen to those whom we know to be of the same opinion as ourselves, and we call them wise for being of it; but we avoid such as differ from us.