I wasn’t like 'Oh, I'm going to marry 50 Cent...' I mean, seriously. But I did like him. He's very sweet and antithetical to what you'd think of him.

A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And you don't even have to be topless. L'chaim.

We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.

I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.

You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU

There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

The truth must be quite plain, if one could just clear away the litter.

I just take one day. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not come. We have only today to love Jesus.

So many of my staff is young enough that they're going to do amazing things. And I'm going to be helping them try to do them.

(I'm) the only one to take out half a brain, although you would think, if you go to Washington, that someone had beat me to it.

Whoever makes you smarter a little earlier in life makes you better

Sainthood's piety is made, refined, perfected, by prayer. The gospel moves with slow and timid pace when the saints are not at their prayers early and late and long.

Yeah, it's been a ride I guess I had to go to that place to get to this one Now some of you might still be in that place If you're trying to get out, just follow me I'll get you there

I love that whole princess mentality, but I also like throwing my hair in a ponytail and just wearing jeans, going on a hike and then eating a big chili-cheesebur ger.

The person who really wants to do something finds a way; the other finds an excuse.

Reading is the basic springboard for learning. And books provide the liftoff. They are the great equalizer, opening up new worlds to everyone.