I watch a lot of astronaut movies....Mostly Star Wars. And even Han and Chewie use a checklist.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

Quality of life does not depends up on the branded product that you use. It totally depends up on the quality of your thoughts and quality you maintain to express your thoughts

I was enjoying the great human trophy hunt and, looking back, it scares the hell out of me

From a private gentlewoman you have made me first a marchioness, then a queen; and, as you can raise me no higher in the world, you are now sending me to be a saint in Heaven.

The quality of your life is determined by how you feel at any given moment.How you feel is determined by how you interpret what is happening around you,not by the the events themselves.

People are interested in family traditions, and I think a lot of families can benefit from some of the ways that my parents dealt with the challenges of raising four kids.

Well, I'm a 14 handicap. Anyone who golfs knows what that means.

Religious organisations have an automatic tax-free charitable status.

Government is the enemy of conservatism and freedom.

I could actually do a lot more if I didn't have things go wrong. So, what I am trying to do now is stay light on the parasites. If you are not drained by anyone you can do way more.

I can make anything disappear, if I really want to.