I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

It shocked his sense of dramatic economy that they should have to resort to violence when the same result could have been obtained by a minimum expenditure of energy.

You know, I feel like my job is to write a book. Then filmmakers come and they make a movie. And they're two really different art forms.

Since periods of great change, such as the present one, come so rarely in human history, it is up to each of us to make the best use of our time to help create a happier world.

Be the wisdom your support. Be the compassion your guide and listen to the Divine Music that beats in every heart.

I look at my jersey and see the NBA logo, I'm like, 'I didn't think I'd be here.'

You big crybaby," I whispered into his ear. "Now you know why your mom warned you not to hit girls. Sometimes they hit back.

And that's when I realised that a mans' ego was like fruit; easily bruised.

The vision always precedes reality.

I'm not so interested in the effort that it takes to have a self-promotional outlook. I believe in being quiet and making my work and just trying to make discoveries and let the painting evolve.

We don't ask what the Bible says, we ask what God says to us in that Bible. The difference is a difference between paper and person.