I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Innocence is a better world.

I feel very lucky to be part of this amazing show [Exorcist] with such an amazing cast of actors, with a really talented writer behind it all.

Now I say that with cruelty and oppression it is everybody's business to interfere when they see it.

I was into writing and directing. I was a bit of a reluctant actor. I would always ask friends to shoot or direct their movies, but then they'd want me to be in them.

You have to find a balance with food in your life - you can't take out food. It can be absolutely terrifying.

You must never be afraid to go there.

Squash has been my life and I owe a lot to the sport.

You had to pitch in and out. The zone didn't belong to the hitters it belonged to the pitchers. Today, if you pitch too far inside, the umpire would stop you right there. I don't think it's fair.

As a comedian, you're kind of like a blues musician; you have to live a little bit.

To enjoy the rainbow, first enjoy the rain.