I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

The telling of a story, like virtually everything in this life, was always made all the easier by a cup of tea.

We all have some proper noun to blame.

I understand that most ladies tend to prefer lap dogs.... Perhaps I am an exception.

Like all mothers, mother nature will tuck you safely into bed at night only to come into your room two hours later in a scary mask and threaten you with a nail

I love people and I love to sing, and that's what keeps me going.

You can't allow other people to define your purpose or your destiny.

Pollution is a necessary result of the inability of man to reform and transform waste.

Few men are born brave. Many become so through training and force of discipline.

Where the heart does not enter; there can be no music.

Anything is beautiful if you say it is.